Beyond Tradition

Sometimes the way of doing something significant, is prescribed, or – it’s so vivid in its symbolism that it keeps on being used through many years, or many regions.  The white dress, the “sides” the groom and bride stand in front of their guests, the wedding cake, the veil….

Maybe for you, the prescribed traditions are required by your family – like having your wedding inside a church building, using a specific religious liturgy for your celebration, or even pressure to change your surname (or not to change your surname!).

Every tradition has to start somewhere.  It’s okay if the traditions in your wedding celebration, start being traditions on your wedding day, right?  But – other than creating new traditions in your ceremony, are there things you have to do or otherwise your marriage isn’t official?

We believe that your celebration should be Your day, Your way.  That means that everything that is done on the day is specifically done because it’s significant for you, as a couple.   We customize everything about your day, except for

  1. the two questions posed to both of you, that are legally required,
  2. the declaration that you are lawfully married, and
  3. the presentation of you as a couple.

Can we get married outside, or in a garden, or in our home, or at a vineyard, or on a mountain, or under a waterfall?

Sure you can!  The law requires that your paperwork is signed under a roof, with the door open, but the ceremony itself will be conducted anywhere you choose.

I’ve been married before, can I wear a white dress?  What will people say?

We have officiated weddings for people who were sky clad, or – if you’re unfamiliar with the term, naked.  We’ve had grooms in jeans, and brides in plakkies.  We have married a groom with only a thistle under his kilt to a bride seated on a gay-pride-flag-covered-chair.  We have married brides in checked flannel shirts.  To each other.

We celebrated their differentness with them, because that’s what made them love each other in a whole new way.

You are most welcome to wear exactly what you want to wear for your day.  We don’t judge you based on the colour scheme of your dress or suit, and we will respect your love and honour your relationship even if you are different to the expectations of your guests.

Our officiant will always be dressed in proper formal attire, that doesn’t clash with what you’re doing.

I do not want any religious message, or any mention of a god in our ceremony.  Can you do that?

Sure, you’re referring to what is called a humanist celebration.  In essence, that would be what a “civil union” is.   It’s still really beautiful, there’s a lot of gravitas to the ceremony itself, and even the hard core folks who were waiting for the scripture or blessing, will feel that your ceremony was real, true, and made them feel your love.

We are from different religions.  We want a spiritual ceremony that doesn’t focus on the differences, but on the similarities of our values, beliefs, and worship.  Can you do that?

Yes!  Most definitely.  We can co-officiate with someone from a specific faith, or someone who is personally significant to you as a couple – like a family member, or various family members.

Or – we can use the specific text that you wish to bring into your ceremony, either verbatim, or integrated into our bespoke celebration that we create for you.

We would like our children to be part of the celebration.  How does that work?

In this picture, Luke and Valerie are really intent on adding their “magic” to the ring blessing, for their Mommy and Daddy’s marriage.

Your children are definitely welcome in your celebration, we write their parts into the ceremony.  Especially with the littlies, we work their involvement in such a way that we can seamlessly work past them if they’re not up to the performance on the day.  We’ve found that single siblings over the age of eight usually manage to stick with the plan, and if there is a little tribe (two or more), they manage famously.

Even for children who have grown up with the couple getting married, either as biological children, or with one step parent, the marriage is a really huge happening.  Their place in the family is cemented, and their significance in the future is formalized.

We’d like our pets to be part of the celebration.


We’re not getting wedding rings, we’re getting tattoos.  Can that be brought into the ceremony?

Yes.  No problem.

We want our paperwork done, and the celebration with our family and friends at a later time, how does that work?

Sure!  You can do the legal paperwork on one date, and the ceremony on another.   We’ve done that for many couples and we’d be delighted to celebrate both parts of your wedding with you!